by Sandra Robinson-Wilson

Founder & Director, Combat Female Veterans Families United

In Celebration of Veterans Day & National Veterans and Military Families Month

“Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” – John 15:13

Being a female veteran usually means proving you served. It means, always being the minority gender in a room full of Veterans. 

It means, I must keep my defenses up.

It means, they will think I am the Veteran’s wife.

Well, I am the Veterans wife and the Veteran. 

It means, I rarely hear thank you for our service! 

I don’t believe I can share enough to make a non-Veteran or Veteran male truly understand what it is to be a woman Veteran, but I can share enough to help you understand that changes are still needed. 

See, no matter what branch you served with, if you are a woman veteran that means you were born a woman. That simple statement may seem unnecessary, but just because the military taught us to be strong mentally and physically it doesn’t remove the fact that we are women. Many think this means that we want to be treated special, but that is not the case. We fought for our country and served like you. But not as a man, we served like a woman! 

We are women and our body parts didn’t change because we had on combat boots. We were and continue to be more likely to be harassed and sexually assaulted. These experiences were frequently hidden in the past because you were blamed for your assault.  Even though the world is changing, and women are silent no more, we continue to live in this shell and have a difficult time letting people in.

So, if we feel uncomfortable in a room full of men- it’s because of our experiences and we protect them.

So, going back to the fact that change is still needed- we need your help with how we are treated and made to feel. Change begins with awareness. To give women the recognition they deserve you must understand women have been in conflict from the very beginning and you honor them by remembering their service and sharing their history. 

I was part of the largest deployment of women to war in 1991, during Operation Desert Storm. My husband Bruce Wilson is also a combat Veteran. Even if we are together both in military paraphernalia, people just thank him for his service.  

We must stop ignoring the fact that women served too. Change your approach.

If you are at a Veteran event and see a woman, ask her if she served. Don’t just assume she is the Veteran’s wife. Thank her for her service! She served too!

Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “A woman is like a bag of Tea- you never know how strong she is until she ends up in hot water.” Well we ended up in hot water and we are still standing. We served too!

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” – Joshua 1:9

For a period of 30 days, I had to wear the same clothes and never changed once - because we were constantly moving through the desert driving tractor trailers to supply troops with necessary supplies like ammunition and food. They told us to try to change our socks at least once a day, even though we couldn’t change anything else, but that didn’t really happen because we were in danger.  If we couldn’t change our socks often enough- when we did the skin would come off with it because of the hot weather and the combat boots.

Instead of a port-a-potty, we had a communal bathroom consisting of a sheet held up by a couple other soldiers.  We had to stay together now, so there was no wandering off a hundred yards to do your business.  Now we’d go to the bathroom in groups. But, I am the only woman- the life of female service-member during war. 

For the entire 30 days, we had only MREs (Meal Ready to Eat) for food.  If we hadn’t been so hungry from all the work and stress, I don’t know how we’d have done it.  Freeze-dried food isn’t particularly good, and there was no way to get any variety in our meals because everything pretty much tasted the same as everything else.

I’ve never actually been homeless, but for those thirty days, I felt homeless.We had no shelter, limited food and water, and no safety.When we’d stop somewhere for any reason, we’d always send a few people out for guard duty to watch the area and make sure we didn’t get attacked.That was the scariest part for me.There was not only the constant risk and fear of being attacked, but also the threat of going on patrol to protect our units from being attacked.

“For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.” 2 Timothy 1:7

A Woman Veteran is one of a kind.

A Service woman who fought for what is mine!

She is to be treated with honor and respect because she always gave her very best!

A woman veteran does all she can and is always there to stand by her land.

Even if she appears humble and meek, she takes no mess and you can always rest assure she will past the test!

You will know her when she passes by, because she always holds her head up high.

She is courageous, strong and a dignified lady!

You will never know that she has shed so many tears!

She is a woman Veteran, a lady who has no fears!